Oftentimes, when I sit down and (try to) write something, I get hung up on the idea that I have to have something profound to say. That a lot of thought and research has to go into an idea before I’m allowed to say it.
Do you know the backlog of half-completed ideas I have that get stalled because I felt what I had to say wasn’t important? The hours of research wasted because I couldn’t come up with an “original concept.” How many ideas just became scrawls between notebook and journal pages after getting so hung up on how to carry it out.
My pretentiousness has other ways of manifesting itself. I’m quite humble in my day to day life but I expect my ideas to be great from the get-go. Where I think my brain will automatically do the work of spinning perfection as soon as pen touches paper (or finger hit keys). I find myself so frustrated with the editing process sometimes because my spun gold ends up looking like piles of hay and it’s tough being diligent and dedicated enough to get it close.
And I do know better. I know effort makes a story shine but too much effort–trying to get it perfect before you even begin, is just as much of a story killer. Trust me, this piece took me less than 10 minutes to write. This is just me stringing thoughts together giving no care to how they come across. Okay, that’s not completely but the usual agonizing on whether I have something profound to say didn’t stop me from writing this. And that really shouldn’t be the end goal anyway. Write it if you feel the urge to say it. That is all.
Oh, and as a side note, I’m happy that no one will see the handwritten draft of this. It’s atrocious! It’s messy! But it started this something.